070707

Torben mentioned the other day that 070707 was coming up and I joked "I wonder if Jesus will come back"

But all day today, I've been thinking about it. What if Jesus came back today? Or tomorrow. All my life, that question has been accompanied by some negative feeling. "Oh, no, I don't want him to" type of thoughts. First it was because I wanted to be kissed first, then it was because I wanted to get married first. But there have also been other thoughts. "I haven't done enough for Him." "He would be disappointed because I don't have it all together yet." "I've still got so much sin in my life, I don't want to go to heaven yet". Those thoughts have always come to mind whenever someone has talked about Jesus' return. I have really hoped that He wouldn't return soon.

But as I thought about it today, I realized that my heart was different when I thought about it. In the past month in England, I began to realize for the first time in my life that Jesus loves me. That I am special to Him. Not in spite of who I am. But as I am, He adores me. He's not waiting for me to get it together before He accepts me. He just does. This month isn't the first time I have heard that (I've been singing Jesus Loves Me since I could speak), but it is the first time it has become real to me. Or maybe it's the first time I have chosen to believe it even though I don't feel particularly lovable. Either way, I know it's true. If He returned today, He would be rejoicing to be with me. How crazy is that. I can't even begin to fathom it.