Thursday, June 19, 2008

Home

I guess I'm not a very faithful blogger. I haven't even written anything on here about our future plans! Well, in short - we're moving to America in a little more than 3 weeks. We've turned over the DTS leadership to others here in Kiev, we got Torben's visa, I've been accepted into Kennesaw State University (www.kennesaw.edu), I finish SBS on July 11th, and Torben is (nearly) accepted to do an internship this fall with Grace Ministries International (www.gmint.org) in Marietta Georgia. It looks like it all might actually happen - believe me, I've had my doubts all along.

Moving back to America. Funny, that's how I always say it. Not "home", just "America" or "the States". I've lived outside of America nearly non stop for more than 4 years now. Somewhere along the line, it stopped feeling like home. Maybe it had something to do with my parents moving down to Georgia, so there's not an actual house where I think "ah, I'm home" like Torben does at his parents' house in Denmark. Or maybe it's because I've changed and grown a lot in the last few years, seeing the world from an all new perspective.

God and I have talked about this a lot. What is home? Will I ever feel at home again? Is it worth it to follow God and not necessarily ever have a physical place on this earth where I feel truly at home? I've talked to a bunch of people about that. My mom has given me good advice and I've heard it from some of my friends here in Ukraine too. In many ways, contentment and feeling at home is a choice. A mindset. Where I am and where God has placed me is home.

And then I think of the vows Torben and I took at our wedding and how I knew I was leaving behind my "right" to live in America or my "right" to do everything the American way when I married a foreigner. The words of Ruth seemed particularly applicable for us "Where you go, I will go...your people shall be my people..." We're together, and that makes it home, whether we're in Ukraine, Denmark, or America

So we're moving to America and we'll make it home for the next three years or so. But I'll hold onto it loosely because I know it's not ultimately home. It's a place with its good sides and bad sides. It's more familiar to me than it is to Torben. But it's not home. That's one of the reasons I look forward to the new earth someday - that I will finally be home.